Weird Friend Can’t F**king Wait to Take Your College Class Qualtrics Survey

Kevin Ronson, your weird friend who likes meditation a bit too much, is off-the-wall psyched to take the Qualtrics survey you created for your psychology class. A lover of introspection, personal advancement, and the Paleo Diet, Kevin is literally crapping himself at the idea of answering thoughtful, important questions about his feelings anonymously for your statistically insignificant convenience sample.

“I see myself as a student of psychology too,” said Kevin, who has never taken a psychology class. “A lot of my chakra work lately has been focused on really knowing myself in the truest sense, primarily through thoughtful breathing, which is why I was so thrilled when Facebook provided me with a valuable opportunity to share what I’ve learned about myself with the world.”

Kevin is confident that he is completely self-aware and able to provide reliable information for your Qualtrics survey, which is worth 5% of your Psychology 102 grade, in case you didn’t know.

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